Clare’s Ten Point Guide to Life

miles-and-clare1. It’s research, not ogling.

2. Men like to be objectified.

3. Hot guys always need help rubbing suntan lotion into their backs, shoulders and chests.

4. Smut in films is porn. Smut in books is literature.

5. I am a goddess, and deserve all the young men who prostrate themselves at my feet daily. Even if they’ve just tripped.

6. I never dislike anyone, even if they’re inconveniently breathing my air.7. I’m not very good with advice, but could I interest you in a sarcastic comment?8. If you massage my stomach up to my boobs, I have the perfect figure.

9. I am a gorgeous, beautiful, assertive, modern woman who deserves chocolate every day.

10. If you break the chocolate, the calories fall out.shutterstock_99277016