“Daddy doesn’t make New Year’s Resolutions.”
That’s Sofia, my 12 year-old-going-on-twenty daughter.
Caro throws me a stare that says, Yes, you do, or forget about sex for the next 24 hours.
I know it won’t be any longer because she wouldn’t punish herself that long. Yell, yeah, my wife is totally hot for me. But she knows 24 hours without being able to touch her will reduce me to a pathetic, begging mess with balls so blue, they’d have their own color scheme.
Sofia gives me a knowing look. Damn she looks so much like Caro, even though Sofia is our adopted daughter.
“Sure you do, Dad,” says Marco, raising an eyebrow.
“Please, Daddy!” says Shirley, my baby.
She’s got the most heart-breaking look on her face.
“I’m doing it, I’m doing it,” I grumble, and they all start giggling. The whole fucking tribe.
I’m a Marine, God dammit! I don’t cave under enemy fire. But let’s just call this a tactical withdrawal … so I can get laid tonight. Oo-rah!
“I sure do, honey,” I say with a bright smile. “Mommy knows I do. Look, here’s me writing up a fuc— fun list of resolutions.”
I grab a pencil from the pile, an evil grin on my face.
1. Let Caro blow me every morning before breakfast
2. Let Caro initiate sex at least once a week
3. Practice playing guitar in bed while Caro is naked and playing with her tits
4. Give Caro an IOU for 1,000 orgasms for the new year
5. Lick Caro’s pussy at least ten times before I make her come
6. Offer to sleep in the wet spot at least once next year
7. Kiss every inch of Caro’s body, starting with her pussy
8. Let Caro take a dick pic to keep on her phone
9. Let Caro take a pussy pic to keep on my phone
10. Love her until the end of time.
“Now let’s read them all out,” says Caro, giving me a wide smile.
“Oh, shi— sugar lumps,” I choke out. “I’m not quite finished.”
Caro is watching me. She totally knows my game. I grin and wink at her.
“I’ll read you my list later, Mommy.”
And I do, later on that night. And I gotta say, my new year started off fucking awesome!